Hand Sex

On my way to class this morning, I passed this couple standing around having hand sex.

They were in the middle of the sidewalk, standing about eighteen inches apart and extending their arms towards each other at around the height of their sternums. It would be weird enough if they were holding hands at that angle, but no. They were having hand sex. Finger humping, thumb thrusting, wrist bumping hand sex. And this was no quickie. I mean, they were just standing there, not talking, not otherwise touching, for about a minute.

(This reminded me briefly of footsie. I never intentionally play footsie. But I have really long legs and unfortunately big feet, so it always happens by accident. I'll be sitting at a table with someone - doesn't matter if they're across the table or next to me - and next thing you know: awkwardly intimate foot contact. If you're reading this and I've done it to you... I'm sorry. I promise, no sexual advance was intended. Although, when I realize that I'm touching your foot, I probably act really awkward regardless, so either way... my apologies.)

What you want to do in the privacy of your home or dorm or car (there's a story for another day) is your business. PDA is a little uncomfortable. Awkward PDA  is just totally unacceptable. Don't do it.

On a final note, I searched Google for "hand sex" to find a picture to more fully illustrate how weird this couple was. Don't type those words into a search engine, especially if you have - as I did, promise - totally innocent intentions. Don't do it. Ever.