The Hague is a very, very international city, because NATO, the UN Justice System, all of the embassies and about ten international organizations, like EUROPOL and INTERPOL, are based here. It's home to a lot of diplomats, expats and immigrants. In fact, often the Dutch will speak English to a stranger first, assuming there's a good chance they're foreign. I've seen it a lot this week: at the grocer, two people were in front of me. The first was a woman in a hijab, and the teller spoke English to her, and then switched to Dutch when she responded in Dutch. The second was a young woman, and they carried on the entire conversation in English.
When it got to me, she started off it Dutch, which is what, I've found, most people will do to me because of how I look. I look pretty Dutch, for being Polish-Norwegian-Anglo. They tend to be tall and blonde, and that's me. It's fine because I can kind of nod and smile and say basic things like "this one please" or "good morning" or "no recipt please" or "thank you".
But sometimes, the conversation gets more in depth, and then things get really awkward, because they're chattering along to me in a language I don't speak, and I have to interrupt and say, "Oh... Ik spreek geen Nederlands," which is my catchphrase now. And then they glare at me, as if I had been fooling them all along. And then they just look really disappointed because, let's face it, it must be a drag to constantly speak other languages in your home country. I'm sorry, lovely Dutch neighbors. I wish I was Dutch. This country is my favorite place.
Speaking of Dutch and awkward, the Dutch airline KLM gave me this on my way over. I love awkwardly translated slogans. This one is awesome.
Another treasure? I was on the beach in Scheveningen after work today and a herd of about five Dutch boys, about ten, passed by. They were making fun of Justin Bieber (it sound's really funny in a Dutch accent, like, juhSTIN BEEBeur) and singing "Baby". Hilarious, until they got to the end of the chorus (you know, "Baby, baby, baby...") and on the offbeat inserted a grunt/moan/howl that sounded unmistakably sexual. I knew my suspiciouns were correct they all laughed and repeated it, and one boy started pelvic thrusting his way along the Strand, to the cheers of his peers, one of whom was shouting, "Ja baby, ja baby!"
Ah, the years when no one is homophobic.
Also, I know the Dutch apparently become sexually active earlier than any other people on earth, but come on.
No comments:
Post a Comment